Limp Bizkit @ De Oosterport, June 12.

Disclaimer: Due to our refusal to agree with the draconian terms imposed by Limp Bizkit’s PR company for the photographers covering the concert, we can’t offer you any images. However, you can find some great shots from De Oosterpoort itself.

I’ll be the first to admit it: I wanted to mock Limp Bizkit.

Seriously, I really cannot stand this band and, most importantly, what they did to the definition of “metal” back in the late 90s. You had assholes who (like some people I know) would headbang to this shit and talk about how it showed “their heavy side”.

Those people are douchebags.

And there were a shitload of them at this concert.

If only we could flyyyyyyyy
They are all in their 40s. I’ll let that sink in.

I also wanted to joke about the fact that Fred Durst looked like the retarded Muslim son of a Russian mobster, sporting a track suit, golf gloves and the type of Imam-style beard that will definitely get him “random searches” at every airport… not to mention that his once grey beard was now black, making me guess that he is using some of Jon Schaffer’s soy sauce beard dye. Think of Grand Theft Auto: Chechenya.

Hell, I also considered talking about how the band that invented the “genre” (I refuse to legitimize this) of “rap metal” failed to attract more than a handful of non-whites, not counting their massive black bodyguard (always keeping a brotha down).

Or I could go into details about how their name is a reference to a “game” where several guys jerk off in a circle around (and onto) a biscuit; the last person to ejaculate has to then eat the cum-covered biscuit as punishment.

Obviously, “totally not gay brah”.

I could also talk about the guy on stage, the 42-year old guy on stage, that kept talking as if he was a 16 year old surfer: “Yooooo, I smell weed here yoooo”. Yes Fred, we know, you drink and smoke weed. You are the epitome of awesome.

Or I could mention how this is the band that became famous with poetic works like “Nookie”  (No she stuck with my homeez that she fucked/ And I’m just a sucker with a lump in my throat”), and“Rollin'” (rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ (what) /keep rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ (come on) /keep rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ (yeah)).

A band responsible for works devoted to deep introspection like “Intro -Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water (Who’s in the house? / Limp Bizkit is in the house) sometimes even adding surreal elements as part of their deep commitment with the intellectual development of the youth, as they masterfully did with their famous opus “Hot Dog” (You.. better.. check.. your.. (check it).. self/Before.. you.. wreck.. your.. self /Kiss.. my.. star.. fish/My.. choco.. late.. Starfish.. punk).  Or, of course, “My Generation”, the product of a bunch of 30 year olds who wanted to give a song to the 14 year old kids who filled their concerts, clearly as a form of satire as their actual generation had peaked about 10 years earlier.

But no, I will take the high road and not do that.

Why? Well, because it was a pretty decent concert.

Aside from the annoying music and the douches who filled the venue, all of which is a subjective perception on my part, the truth is that it was an entertaining show.

Wes Borland, a man known for strange looks and crazy antics on stage, satisfied all of my expectations showing up with his body painted black and wearing a mask made of lights. Of course, although it’s fun to see him, I can’t stop feeling that his undeniable skills as a guitarist are lost in a band like Limp Bizkit, considering that they’re not exactly known for their technical music.

Fred Durst, a person who I never thought I’d praise for anything other than being  good for target practice, proved to be a great entertainer and was able to keep the crowd going throughout the whole set, despite the fact that there was some tension in the air for the 30-minute delay with which the show started.

I know that I could even lose some metal-cred here but, honestly, I’d dare to say that Fred Durst and Limp Bizkit actually kicked Megadeth’s ass in terms of interaction with the audience, at least if we are talking about their latest concert here at De Oosterpoort. This is an odd situation because although Dave Mustaine and Fred Durst are different for many reason, one of them being the fact that Dave is actually a musician, they are both rich and famous enough to know that they don’t actually need to try that hard, since people will show up anyway. And yet, Fred Durst went the extra mile to entertain his audience. ((As for the money issue though, I should mention that before the show a member of his crew was walking around with a big sign offering Meet-and-Greets with the band for €150. While that is pretty cheap for Kiss standards (with whom a Meet-and-Greet costs over €1.000) the fact that they were pushing it so much seemed a bit sad, to say the least.))

This is even more incredible when you consider that, just like Dave Mustaine, Fred Durst has a reputation for being a bit of a cunt so, if anything, you’d expect him to be a douche on stage. And yet that wasn’t the case.

Fred Durst not only communicated with his audience throughout the whole show, but actually went to the audience and sang a couple of songs while standing amongst them. Despite the heat, the fact that that Dutch people are fucking gigantic, and that everyone was pushing, Fred still stood there and sang (or, you know, whatever it is he does) from there. In the same vein, when he sang “Faith”, the George Michael cover, he invited all the girls in the audience to join him on stage, and a few dozens of them actually did (and to the best of my knowledge, he didn’t roofie any of them!)

I don’t like Limp Bizkit and I didn’t come home a changed person singing the praises of Fred Durst. Hell, I still dislike the guy and his music, but let’s give credit where credit is due: He can sure as hell put up a nice show and, amazingly enough, I understand why someone would like to pay for it.

…Then again, I’m also in favor of euthanasia, so what do I know?

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J Salmeron
Considered by his mother as the brightest and prettiest boy, J's interest in metal started in his early teens, listening to bands like Iron Maiden and Metallica (coupled with an embarrassing period in which Marilyn Manson "totally represents me, man") eventually moving into the realm of power, black, and death metal. He is a practicing attorney, and a lecturer on commercial law. He is also a terrible guitar player and martial artist, and someone who enjoys coming up with excuses as to why he has to miss work after going to a concert. He also dabbles as a concert photographer, you can see his sub-par work on his instagram.

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[…] too good to mingle with the rest of us). To his credit Fred Durst of the musical abortion known as Limp Bizkit, before starting his song “Break Stuff” at Hellfest paused, looked up and […]