The Gay Agenda in Heavy Metal

There is something that is infecting the metal world, and we should come to terms with it. It’s the gay agenda.

Since musicians like Gaahl and the members of Cynic came out as sinful homosexuals, there has been a move, on the part of some radical left wing fans, to paint the whole of the metal scene with the same gay brush. And it’s wrong.

Gay Blog 5
Stryper: A Masculine, Straight and Christian band that fight for what’s right.

What really bothers me about this is that it completely glosses over the fact that there has never been anything gay about heavy metal. Despite a few bad apples, heavy metal has always been about masculinity and about being straight as an arrow. I am honestly sickened by the idea that anybody would think that a genre shaped by oiled up, leather-covered, strong, vascular, sexy men, could possibly be gay-friendly. And yet, that’s exactly what the liberal gay fascists are doing.

Gay Blog 6
Judas Priest‘s “Hot Rocking”. Nothing wrong about men exercising to look good. Why would that be gay?

If you look at the history of heavy metal, you’d be hard pressed to find any single example of homosexuality or homoeroticism. It has always been about being yourself, hanging out with your male friends, go to bars that cater to males, drink some beers, have sword fights,  and, you know, have fun. There is something really wrong about looking at any of this and think that this would be a place that caters to homosexuals.

Manowar. Fighting for masculinity.
Manowar. Fighting for masculinity.

As a God-fearing man, I am concerned about the future of my metalhead brothers, who might find themselves targeted by gay propaganda. I fear that if they have not been properly educated, they might think that “gay is OK”, and that heavy metal actually promotes, or at least accepts, that behavior. I assure you, that is not the case, and it’s your responsibility to do your part in stopping it. If any of your friends are considering homosexuality as a valid alternative, it’s your duty to get on top of that, and forcefully thrust straight-thinking deep into him.

Motley Crue's video about a bunch of guys in the boy's room. Nothing wrong with that.
Motley Crue’s video about a bunch of guys in the boys’ room. Nothing wrong with that.

Brothers, we are at a crossroads. Sinful people are attempting to take over heavy metal culture, and they will not stop until it’s all covered in rainbows and sin. It is up to us to stop this from happening, and returning heavy metal to its rightful place in heterosexual culture.

Gay Blog 1
Paul Stanley gets it.
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Considered by his mother as the brightest and prettiest boy, J's interest in metal started in his early teens, listening to bands like Iron Maiden and Metallica (coupled with an embarrassing period in which Marilyn Manson "totally represents me, man") eventually moving into the realm of power, black, and death metal. He holds a PhD in law, trains martial arts, practices law, and enjoys coming up with excuses as to why he has to miss work after going to a concert. He also dabbles as a concert photographer, you can see his sub-par work on his instagram.
  • brianboyko

    Two words: Rob Halford

    • J_MetalBlast

      What about him? I don’t see your point.

  • Mr. Garrison

    I get the tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, but it’s not a great ‘article’ not very informative. I have zero problems with gays in metal or anywhere else, so this ‘article’ is, perhaps preaching to the choir. I agree that there is a lot of clearly unintentional homo-eroticism in metal as well as many male dominated sports, but so what it’s old news, unless, of course, you love watching starlight guys squirm when you point it out to them. It never gets old.
    Bottom line: I expected more from Metal Blast.

    • J_MetalBlast

      Hi Mr. Garrison,
      Thanks for visiting and, especially, for the high expectations you have for us.
      The article wasn’t intended to preach to anybody, it was just meant to be funny. Kind of like an Onion article, if the people at the Onion had a terrible sense of humor.
      I hope you’ll continue visiting anyway! 🙂

  • Manowar, gay?!
    It’s more like than you think!

  • LOLZ!!! That was comedy gold, J. For some reason, I’ve never seen the “Hot Rocking” video with JP hittin’ the Nautilus. Push ups… lat pulls… bench press…. shoulder press…. ?!? So, the guy in the very back….. what the hell is he supposed to be doing?

    • J_MetalBlast

      He’s making love.

  • Creative Class

    Rather than an attempt at humor, perhaps a more serious article would have been more appropriate.

  • Joshua Siniawa

    I really hope people realize this is satire…

    • J_MetalBlast

      If anybody reads “If any of your friends are considering homosexuality as a valid alternative, it’s your duty to get on top of that, and forcefully thrust straight-thinking deep into him.” and takes that seriously, they’re beyond hope.

  • So you’re gay. Just admit it…

    • Vassago Gamori

      Penis in your anus sir?
      Two, three penii perhaps?
      We can bring some kindly bum-chums to help your tender blossoming awakening out of the closet.

      • Don’t expect sympathy from me, just because you’re retarded!
        Now off to bed with you…

  • John Gilbert

    It’s cool what you say dude. Ratt is another good guy band. But I think David Lee Roth played with his dildo a lot.