The Breast Blog Ever: Tits And Metal

Women were second-class citizens for the biggest chunk of humanity’s history. Hell, even though nowadays women have the same rights as men to participate in civil society, there are still problems associated with wage-disparity and sexual assault, not to mention their commodification in media.

In the realm of music, heavy metal has always been a mostly male-dominated genre, with female performers representing a very small part of the artists. Although women like Doro Pesch and Lita Ford paved the way for female performers in metal, it wasn’t until the advent of Nightwish in the late 90s that women started to achieve previously unimaginable levels of fame. Since then, bands, like Arch Enemy, Arkona and Epica have demonstrated that women are just as versatile as male performers, and that there are no limits to what they can achieve in terms of musical creation.

When you think of all the obstacles that women faced (and sometimes still face) in order to “make it” in metal, you have to honestly feel revolted to see how some people, be it from the industry or the bands themselves, go out of their way to shit on those efforts and cheapen the role of women, limiting them to the level of eye-candy.

Enter the band Huntress. Fronted by the former topless DJ and “totally a witch” Jill Janus, they are a band that got quite a bit of momentum after their first promo pictures showed that Jill, apparently, had a huge rack. Now, I’ve gone on the record stating that I consider Jill to be a decent singer, and I honestly enjoyed their first album, even if its replay value dwindled as time went by. The problem I see in the band, however, is that what they lack in music they try to replace with a shitty “witchcraft” gimmick, coupled with the kind of witty sexual elements you’d expect from a 14 year old boy who just discovered internet porn.

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The drummer of Agalloch kind of called it.

Although they seemed to have been confiscated at the airport when I saw her in person, Jill’s tits account for a big  chunk of Huntress’ popularity, and she knows it. After all, this is not the first time she has taken this road, as she herself has explained in regards to her absolutely respectable career as a topless DJ

“I was living in New York City and needed cash. So I learned how to DJ, but added a gimmick to make more money. I did it topless”

Considering that Jill herself made it clear that she has no problems in using her tits as a gimmick to succeed in music, it’s hard to believe that Huntress aren’t just a metal version of the same crap. Nowadays she can be found setting women back a couple of decades by referring to her vagina as her “pagan pussy of doom” and preparing her side-project Labia Majora’s first album, Clitboner.

Totally legit.

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Jill JanusInstagram is a monument to civil rights. Clitboner, of course, promises to be 2014’s “I am Malala”.

Of course, Jill is not alone on this endeavor, far from it. Bands like Butcher Babies and In This Moment are but two examples of bands that decided to just grab all the effort of their predecessors and throw it down the toilet, hiding a lack of talent and musical abilities behind (granted, massive) tits.

In what can only be described as a pivotal moment in Western civilization, and which I’m sure would make Susan B. Anthony proud, Butcher Babies went on the record saying

“We can’t go balls out — so we go tits out! When girls are perceived as sexual or outspoken, they get labeled sluts, but we embrace those qualities and bring them to our music as well. Butcher Babies is true slut metal: We’re doing what we want, how we want.”

Butcher Babies are a shitty band that would have achieved no notoriety if it wasn’t for the former playmates that use their tits to cover for their poor excuse for lyrical abilities (think Yoko Ono meets Bobcat Goldthwait) and derivative music. True, men are guilty of something similar when you consider that people like Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Rock and Steve Austin  achieved fame simply by being bigger than most people; however, at least nobody pretended that any of them were anything more than overpaid gorillas. In the case of Huntress and Butcher Babies, labels try to push them as if there was anything below the surface. There isn’t.

This isn’t about female empowering, but rather about pretending that marketing women’s sexuality equals to their liberation. To proudly embrace “slut metal” isn’t like gay people adopting the word “queer”, but rather like gay people adopting “cum guzzling faggot” as their moniker of choice.

Under a pretense of liberation and  empowering, what the likes of Huntress and Butcher Babies are telling girls is that the only way to make it is to show as much skin as possible, to be a commodity for men’s entertainment.

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Those are pretty well hidden C-section scars.

Not unlike glam metal bands like Motley Crue and Poison, this is all about image, not about music. Sadly, and just like glam metal, it’s also about commodification of women and the selling of their sexuality. Let’s not forget, after all, who their target audience is. Metal is, or at least should be, about rebellion. There is very little rebellion in the selling of women’s sexuality in order to promote a band or a label; if anything, it’s something that already plagues mainstream society and that should not have a place here.

Thumbnail image used under creative commons license.
  • Butt Face

    “it’s something that already plagues mainstream society and that should not have a place here.”

    Sadly, it will always be there so long as those women (and men) are happy to sell their sexuality or have their sexuality exploited.